Friday, October 14, 2011
On the car ride back to our house, you could cut the tension with a knife. I got a glimpse of the real Rae for about 5 minutes in the parking lot, and ever since then she's been self conscious and doubting herself. She sat quietly, toying with her wedding ring under the table that is her 'give' that she's upset, while other customers looked over at us. Of course, you have the ones that gawk, but I've gotten use to that. What I don't understand is how she hasn't adjusted to all of this with me. She met me right when I got into the league and I just would have thought that by now, she would have transformed under the pressure like I think I have. I try to remind myself that I had hype to live up to before I met her though, so I keep reminding myself of that difference. It does nothing to calm my nerves though as I notice that my grip on the steering wheel has my knuckles turning white.
After pulling the car into the garage, we both slip out of the car in silence. I take a deep breath, knowing that my pissy attitude won't help get through to her anymore. I extend my hand to her, and she grabs onto it almost like she'd fall down if she didn't have it for support. And this is what I don't understand.. does she not know that I love her?
For two weeks after we kissed, I had not seen a glimpse of Rae. But fortunately for today, she wouldn't be able to avoid me. Because she had been handling her internship so well she had been given some more freedom; and that today entailed watching over media sessions today. Normally, I just try to give the reporters what they want to hear so I can get out of there as soon as possible, but today I find myself dragging it out, making sure that I'm the last one in the room. I have to talk to her. That's all there is to it.
As everyone else shimmies out of the room, I find her shifting in the corner, watching over the reporters around me, making sure that they don't cross any lines, but I know that she's uncomfortable with the fact that after they all leave we will be the only ones in the room.
I don't think their timing could be any more perfect as the rest of the reporters leave the room one by one, leaving me and her alone. After the lats one exits the door, she gives me a faint smile before heading for the door herself.
"Am I that bad of a kisser?" I shout out to her while starting to untie make skates, knowing this is the best chance I'll get for alone time with her. She turns around, obviously surprised at my statement by the look on her face so I give her a big grin to let her know I'm kidding. She relaxes a little bit but doesn't take a step farther into the room.
"You could use some work," she jokes back, flashing me a glimpse of her bright smile. "I'm guessing you want to talk about it?" she asks, biting on her lip and making me wonder if that's a nervous habit of hers.
"Come on," I reply with a nod of my head, indicating she can come sit in the stall next to me. She walks over to me in those heels that make her legs look miles long and sits down but doesn't say a word more. I stand up, continuing taking off my gear until her eyes finally meet mine and it puts a smile on my face.
"Sid," she starts out while shaking her head, "as your lawyer, this can't happen," she continues while waving her hand in between the two of us to indicate 'us'.
"But that's the glory in all of this, you aren't actually my lawyer because you aren't actually a lawyer yet, you're still finishing law school," I use as my rebuttal.
"Same difference," she replies with a shrug of her shoulders before reaching up and pressing her glasses up further on her nose. "Surely you see the millions of reasons this can't happen."
Her words make my response match her previous one as I shrug my shoulders and take my jersey and shoulder pads off, relishing in the fact that I can feel her eyes on me.
"And this has to stop too," she growls while gesturing to my shirtless body before blushing and turning her head away. "This is my career you're toying with."
"I'm not trying to toy with anything," I shrug but she doesn't seem so convinced. "It just seems like under all these business suits and proper etiquette you're real down to earth." Her nose scrunches up in response.
"There's nothing wrong with the way I dress, Crosby," she states while standing up, giving me a good chance to give her a once over which makes her blush once again.
"I never said there was," I chuckle as she starts to head towards the door. "You don't even want to be my friend, Rae?" I add, making her turn on her heels and stare at me.
"I don't know that that's possible," she says evenly.
"Why?" I prompt.
"Because I'll always want more," she concludes before giving me a once over for a change and making me blush before leaving.
As soon as we close the door behind us I press her up against it, bringing her lips down to mine. She timidly kisses me back, pulling back after a couple of seconds to look me in the eyes.
"Am I that bad of a kisser?" I smirk.
"You could use some work," she giggles before jumping up into my arms and wrapping her legs around me as I head toward our bedroom.